All posts tagged: trash

12 Absurdities of Life in NYC

As I walked home from school drop-off, this morning, I had to climb over snow mountains, most of which were just piles of trash frozen in snow. (The last blizzard came late on a Friday night, which was trash night. Hundreds, nay thousands, of bags were subsequently buried.) This, in addition to the disgusting, brown ice drifts lining every street, and the innumerable dog poop baggies tossed onto snow drifts by irresponsible dog owners, make me think, “People who don’t live here can’t understand what we tolerate.” While I can’t speak for every New Yorker, there are some absurd realities of living here that most of my friends outside New York find hilarious/can’t comprehend. 1. ALTERNATE SIDE PARKING For those of us idiot car owners who can’t afford $450/month parking slots, there’s this option: free street parking. But…twice a week you sit in your car for 90 minutes waiting to move for the street cleaner. Further, cops walk by twice in that 90 minutes, ready to slap $125 tickets on unoccupied cars. When the street …

Unphoned. Untethered.

I’ve shattered four phone screens since my oldest son was born. Each time it was my fault. After the recent destruction, I gave the phone to a cell phone harlequin who quoted a replacement of $79.99. During the waiting period, I took the kiddos to…wait for it…the playground. The fountains were on, the birds were out, I had coffee. It was idyllic. Both boys scampered into the fountain to splash and squeal. And this is what I thought: I don’t have my phone. Ah. Then four seconds later: What am I going to do? How am I going to occupy myself? What am I supposed to do? Single-task my children by watching them? Wait. Gavin: enjoy it. This is freedom. Breathe deep. Hmm. The the fresh, urban, dog-urined, exhaust-filled scents of mother culture. But it’s alright. It’s familiar. Gaze up at the trees. Wow. Trees. So tall. Green against the blue sky. That’s my favorite color of green. This would make great Instagram material. Oh, wait. And the blue is beautiful…the top of that one …