All posts tagged: rules

How NOT to Run a Marathon – in 7 Easy Steps

So I ran the NYC marathon, yesterday. It was tough. Like…really, really, really tough. I’d joked to friends that I was just hoping to finish. Secretly I wanted to finish in 3:45, which I told no one…except the entire intrawebs when I took the above pic and posted to Instagram at the starting line. (Seeing this discarded placard seemed a harbinger of the marathon miracle I’d soon conjure.) Apologies to those I made think I’d finished in 3:45. I most assuredly did not. I finished in 4:25. A good time, but definitely not what I’d hoped…especially as I deluded myself for 18 miles by running 8:40. Because at mile 19…I hit a wall. I’m pissed at myself for not following the rules. I literally forgot it was a marathon. My out-sized ego magically believed in unicorns and marathon miracles. While the jury might still debate unicorns, marathon miracles don’t exist. You have to follow the rules. Let my idiocy serve as a learning experience for all of you. How NOT to Run a Marathon in …

BIKE SURVIVAL IN NYC: 13 UNOFFICIAL RULES

Assume that everyone else on the road is drunk and/or blind and/or learned how to drive 2 hours ago. Assume you are always obscured in blind spots, every is about to clip you, and every clueless pedestrian reading their phones will will step in front of you. Belligerence is a New York biker’s right. You are justified in yelling at every car that cuts you off or cuts across the bike lane. Carry on until they say “I’m sorry,” which you will probably never hear. But keep screaming at the violator. Then pedal on. Don’t ride in the middle of the bike lane, dummy. Ride on the right or the left to allow people (me) to pass you. If you’re “changing lanes” within the biking area, glance back and be aware of cyclists behind you. Just be aware, people! Be aware of everything around you. Bike traffic is like car traffic. You don’t change lanes without looking as you’re careening downing Main Street, USA, do you? Doubly true for bikes. Cuz we don’t have air …