All posts tagged: parenthood

Rainbows and Unicorns

Recently a dear friend told me she reads my blog (13th reader!) and likes it, but…“I could use a few more rainbows and unicorns.” She is sweet. I am not. Well, I can be. But I won’t sanitize my parenting life…because it is HARD, people. Given the choice, I would have another acting gig and make peace with giving 85% of my salary to childcare. (It ain’t for lack of trying. Any casting directors out there reading this?) Admittedly, then I’d complain about being away from my boys so much. Complaining is so satisfying. Aren’t playground conversations all about commiseration? It lets us know we’re not alone. Plus, rainbow and unicorn parenting blogs just annoy me. 1. They make me feel like I’m not creative/energetic/crafty enough, 2. I don’t believe them. I think I’ve made it clear I would take a bullet for both my kids, but being a stay-at-home-dad is not in my DNA. The fact is: my days don’t feel full of rainbows and unicorns. It actually feels like a frantic struggle to …

A Few Words About Surrogacy

A friend pointed out to me the other day, “You have two kids. And not by accident. Like…you’re complaining but you chose to be here. Like there’s no ‘oops, the condom didn’t work’ or ‘oops, my birth control didn’t work’ or ‘oops…’ of any kind. You chose this.” No. Doubt. About. It. So let’s talk about the choices. I knew I wanted to be a father and, furthermore, I was meant to be a father. It was in my cards. My partner was understandably hesitant. He’d lived life devoted to his own goals. So for six months we discussed parenthood. He asked all the right questions. And I had quick responses. What if I’m too selfish? I know you’re not. The way you dote on our dog and even the way you love me…you have too much love to give. I know you’ll melt with a child. I don’t know how to deal with children or relate to them! You’re like Dr. Doolittle. Animals and children gravitate to you. What if I get a conducting …

Giving Thanks: My Mom Made Me a Dad

Last night, as I opened a beer seconds after putting my boys down, I felt gratitude that they most likely won’t wake for 10½ hours. I am so lucky to have sleepers. As I sipped, I thought about gratitude. It was a Hallmark Channel moment. And I was reminded: the strongest thanks I can give this (and every) year is to my mom…for making me a dad. I write about her in the past tense. Six years ago, she died unexpectedly from a cardial arrhythmia. Doctors said it’s the way we all want to go: one second you’re here, then you’re not. I was suddenly an orphan (my father passed when I was 8 years old). There are worse tragedies in the world, but in our culture, 32 is young to be parentless. Thanks to