All posts tagged: modern family

Catty Commentary on Halloween Costumes

My kids are still not old enough (at ages 4 and 2) to have moved into the age of pimp/slut Halloween costumes. But even “cute” Halloween costume catalogs deserve to be criticized and laughed at because, well, over-the-top anything deserves ridicule. And nowhere else do I find such derisive pleasure (and headaches from eye-rolling) as from the Catching Fireflies Halloween catalog. Ergo, I give you: This poor child didn’t understand when his daddy said, “I’ll throw some things together and make you a costume” that he’d dress as a ragged rug riddled with small pox. Chasing Fireflies. OK. The production value of the costumes in this catalog is pretty high. But this girl’s passé is horrendous. Point those toes, girls. Make those hands even. Circus ponies need better posture to be hired in Vegas. Chasing Fireflies Being cast as Brunhilda at age 7 is not cute. This is called a 3rd-grade school play costume…in Lappland. Not Halloween. There’s nothing glamorous about vikings. They had to live by pillaging reindeer jerky and salted cod, not Red …

This Just in…From Hollywood

I’m sitting on a bag of ice in my corporate housing and sipping some booze as I document a little of my week. We’ve had eight intense days of rehearsal in the un-air conditioned gymnasium of Hollywood Methodist Church. I’m falling in love, all over again, with this hilarious musical, Spamalot. Among the stars are Jesse Tyler Ferguson, of Modern Family, (who’s hysterically dry) and Christian Slater. Yes. Christian Slater. He’s infectiously playful with a perma-grin…just a guy who can’t believe he’s being paid to screw around on stage in a Monty Python sketch/musical. And then there’s Warwick Davis. Now. I’m a terrible celeb keeper-upper. I knew he looked familiar, but I was like….”yeah, yeah, yeah. The little person who’s done a bunch of stuff, but who isn’t Peter Dinklage of Game of Thrones.” Then, one of my cast members tells me, “Yeah, but Gavin…not only was he in the Harry Potter movies, he was also in Star Wars.” Y’all: this child-of-the-80’s is soon to be tap-dancing alongside Wicket Fucking Warrior. Like: no shit. I …

Mother’s Day for Two Dads

I was at the playground with my older son when he found a toy and wanted to take it home. (It was a broken robot I’d wager was abandoned.) I told him he needed to ask around to see if it belonged to any other children and, if not, he could take it home. He approached a nanny a few feet away. I couldn’t hear what he asked or how she responded, but as he turned away from her he said, “No I don’t have a mommy. I have a daddy.” He took a step, turned back, and finished, “No. I have two daddies. I have Daddy and I have Tatty.” Then he ran onto the next guardian at the playground to continue his canvassing. The nanny turned to me and we both smiled. That was the first I’d ever heard my son reference our family make-up. It was awesome. My partner and I didn’t specifically discuss Mother’s Day during our months of debate over having a child. We did, however, discuss the significance of …