All posts tagged: gay parents

The Reason for the Season

Though I loathe the culture war centered around “putting the ‘Christ’ back into ‘Christmas’”, I’m definitely one who wants my children to know the reason behind every season, or in most cases…holiday. This applies most especially to holidays as “abstract” as Veteran’s Day. Yesterday my older kid jumped with joy as she celebrated having THREE DAYS OF MORNING TELEVISION this weekend. Uncharacteristically, I held my tongue so as not to deflate her joy. I’ll save the posturing about Veteran’s Day for the actual day. I’m feeling particularly attached to Veteran’s Day, this year, because of the 100th anniversary of the WWI armistice. I’ve always been masochistically fascinated by WWI. It never fails to send a sobering chill down my spine to reflect on the first war in which men were able to massacre acres of men without catching sight of each other. The wide-scale use of machine guns, tanks, airplanes and trench warfare that wasted a generation all because of agreements between insecure, rich white men trying to keep their place in the upper-class mastering the …

A Few Words about Surrogacy: Finding our Carrier

When I told my (gay) doctor we were researching surrogacy, he said, “Ugh. I can’t condone that.” I was shocked. I figured this guy would be all for gays and babies. “It’s not about gays and babies,” he said, reading my mind, “it’s exploitation of underprivileged women.” Actually, he said “trailer trash,” which I couldn’t bring myself to write above. But here I go, again…quoting others’ jaw-dropping comments about saintly surrogates. (Quick side not: I KNOW I should be using the term “gestational carrier”. But I’m simplifying to keep this post shorter.) He continued, “You’re exploiting a desperate woman by renting her uterus. Don’t get me started on using women in impoverished countries.” That gave me pause. But it was before my afore-blogged interview, where we learned our agency required surrogacy applicants to fulfill three criteria : Financial comfort. They couldn’t be in need of the money earned for their labors (pun intended). Married. (And their husbands complicit with the process.) Two children. All the women already had families of four (or more). And to …