Month: December 2019

It's Christmas – So Why Don't I Feel Carefree Joy?

It’s Christmas. So why don’t I feel more carefree joy? I ask this of myself a lot during this time of year. I’ve got kids who still believe, we’ve decorated, we do cookies, I craft experiences for them up the damn wazoo. And still – it’s just kind of a pain in the ass for me. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not depressed nor a pessimist. My glass is half full, in life. But the holidays are just so…ugh. Further, it’s a time that good cheer is forced upon all of us and we are expected, cajoled, guilted into feeling merry and jolly and happy happy happy! But for years, I’ve felt like a grumpy elf railing against consumerism and being generally annoyed by the lack of simplicity. And hell – I’m not even much of a believer in a virgin birth. But that aspect of Christmas means more to me than the expectation of feeling so goddamn happy for decorations and work. At least…that’s the case since my mom died. Eleven years ago, …