Making Room for Women: #MeToo and Douchebaggery

  • This post originally appeared in updated form on

It seems to me that society is slowly making room for women – and thank goodness for that.

I’m late to the #MeToo conversation surrounding sexual harassment, but I’ve encountered fewer men weighing in than I’d expect. I know this is a time when men should often just shut up and listen. (Bad timing for some man-splaining?)

But I also think dads and sons and brothers should be part of the conversation.

This isn’t the time for anyone to ask, “but this all happened so long ago. Why bring it up, now?” (Because it still matters. Even you, Keillor.)

This isn’t the time for postulating, “Yeah, it was bad, but should it really ruin someone’s life?” (Well, Spacey, maybe you should’ve thought about that before thinking with your groin. You weren’t 13; you were in your 20’s. You knew better.)

Women: I’ll probably put my foot in my mouth wading into this delicate issue. So maybe I should just be speaking to the menfolk.

But I have to say: I’m loving this time, this space, this conversation, this movement.

I love this zero-tolerance-for-douche-baggery moment we’re witnessing. And I hope it changes our culture for the good.

Several female friends of mine have voiced their cynicism that “nothing’s gonna change. We have so far to go.”

But that was before Lauer and Keillor. That was also before the Weinstein verdict and The Morning Show.

I’m so pissed at the people I admire – Franken and Keillor. Do I think their transgressions are as serious as Weinstein or Lauer? Not really. There’s a difference between stupidity and sickness.

But it’s all under the same umbrella of objectification, crossing lines, and exploitation.

Being part of the non-douche-bag club, (of which I think a majority of my fellow men are card-carrying members), I’m glad pigs are going down.

I’m happy that the shit that riseth to the top masquerading as cream is being scooped out and exposed.

So I hope there’s more women come forward, because that’ll open up corporate positions thus making room for women (and some men who aren’t entitled douche-bags.)

And it’ll teach our sons they can’t be creeps and our daughters that they don’t have to tolerate creepiness.

If a few people (beloved or not) have to take the fall to make society an egalitarian place where women do not feel objectified or exploited or belittled or unsafe, then that’s ok.

NO MATTER THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE WHO GO DOWN. It’ll never be enough to rectify the harm done.

Because a systemic cultural sickness that has allowed sexual harassment to be excused for (thousands of) years is worth changing; no matter the sacrifices made or how many supposed role models are scandalized in the process.

For all the Louis C.K.’s and Roy Moore’s that go down (please may Moore go down, Alabama voters, pleaseupdate for 2020: he did…and he also spectacularly lost a second primary attempt at the US Senate), someone more talented and less likely to have sexually harassed someone else will replace them.

Making room for women makes the world a better place.

It may be lots and lots of women filling those shoes.

And that’s a good thing.

All you have to do is not be a douchebag. It’s simple.



  1. What you seem to be forgetting is that the nature men and women share in common is the feminine nature: every man and woman have an X chromosome only men carry the Y chromosome. And human nature being what it is, has always been and will continue to be for the for see able future; the women who replace those fallen men will be just as abusive as ther male counterparts were. The only difference is you will continue to ignore and deny that woman can abuse men and boys just as feminists do now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the perspective. Not so sure I agree. Women can definitely be the sharks that men are usually associated with, but I think that’s more a function of our hyper-competitive culture than anything else. I have more to say on the differences (and similarities) between that double-X and the XY chromosomes. Stay tuned…


      • I’m really not interested in whether you agree with me or not since I know what the reality is from having lived it personally. I know from personal first hand experience just how awful, hateful and vindictive females can be. Indeed I consider feminism an extension of the abuse I suffered at the hands of women while growing up and I will oppose it until the day I die.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Feminism does indeed have two faces.

      It’s not all abusive.

      But it IS a breeding ground and safe haven for abuse women who hate males.

      Just like the catholic church is the same thing for men who want to abuse children and be supported and protected while doing it.


      • I agree! I haven’t touched it with a ten foot pole because I know I can’t bring up the topic of how women are not taught to communicate effectively, which in turn can bring on unwanted attention or advances from a man who sincerely thinks they are welcome!

        I think both sides need to start talking.

        That being said, there are ASSES out there that take liberties just because they are asses. I’m glad to see those types go down. They deserve it. I’m glad to see people of both sexes coming forward when a sexual crime has been perpetuated against them.

        The gentleman a few comments earlier – makes a good point. Women are not the only victims and men are not the only perpetrators.

        I do not like or support any man or woman being persecuted because he unwittingly does something offensive due to poor communication styles. I do not like or support witch hunts. But if I say so? People will assume I”m victim bashing. So I”ve stayed out of it.


  2. ALL that being said, your piece is good. MOST people do know when they are doing wrong and when they are doing good, and they know the damn difference. “just don’t be a douchebag” DOES pretty well set a good guideline!

    I am a huge flirt though. Sometimes I have to catch myself and ask myself if the other person really wants the attention. *cough cough* flirting when you are in your 20s … doesn’t translate the same when you hit your 40s lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who knew??????? At some point you have to realize, as I told a friend of the same age … no one wants to see you naked lol! Spare the people, for the love of god.


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