As you may have read, I did not have a successful NYC 2015 marathon experience. I finished, which…I know, I know, is the important thing. And I finished in 4:26, which isn’t shameful.
But I ran way too fast. I ignored basic tenets of humanity…”it’s a marathon, not a sprint” and I just ran stupid. I cruised at an Olympic pace (the Olympics of 1574 hosted by the Holy Roman Empire and comprising two sports: marathon and killing peasants) of 8:50/mile for 19 miles. And then I died. Anyway. No sense in re-hashing it, here…except that clearly I haven’t made peace with it. (Seriously…thinking I might “accidentally” qualify for the Boston marathon? I know. Delusional.)
Anyway, here’s the culmination of my efforts to document the marathon with my little action cam clipped to my visor. The movie is horrendous. Your 9 minutes would be better spent watching paint dry. Why? I planned for every contingency…I purchased 2 extra lithium batteries to change every 90 minutes. I rehearsed pressing those microscopic camera buttons while running. I bought a silly runner’s fanny pack to carry my high-tech gear.
I never expected my visor to break. That poor hat had soaked the last drop of my sweat it could tolerate. In Williamsburg, amidst the throngs of Hasids playing human-Frogger across the course*, my visor split at a seam and I suddenly had no way to hold my camera still.
*(Seriously…it’s hilarious. Only in Williamsbur, Brooklyn, does this human Frogger take place…a Hasidic Jewish neighborhood where men, women and children dressed from the 19th century scramble across the road dodging runners)
So I had to hold the camera for another few miles, texted a friend as I ran (how crazy is that?) and borrowed his visor for the rest of the race.
But then the last of my batteries died, prematurely, (like so many hopes and dreams) in the Bronx.
You get the point. This is not a video I’m proud of. But you might enjoy watching the run over the Verrazano Bridge, through Brooklyn, a shaky run through Queens, the throngs in Manhattan, and then a black out in the Bronx. (Sorry, Bronxians, but it’s just too hilariously poetic NOT to mock.)
So…enjoy my marathoning film festival…the culmination of months and months of running and “movie-making.” Thanks for watching.
My headshot and resume are available upon request for casting in your personal marathoning film festival.