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We’ve Entered the FROZEN Tundra

What is it with Frozen? I know people with 4 -6 year-olds went through this last year, but my 3-year-old is quickly catching up. He is obsessed with Elsa, Anna, Olaf, Kristoff and that insidious song.

I mean, do any adults think the movie is amazing? How on earth did they craft something so addictive for kids?

Is it immediacy?…that we can conjure the song on phones and parents couldn’t have done that with The Little Mermaid? Would we have gone ape-shit over Aladdin if we could YouTube “Never Had a Friend” while on a ski lift or in line at the grocery store?

Obviously Disney creates magic, but I wonder if they don’t have a “Department of Nefarious Arts” in a turret of Sleeping Beauty’s castle where they plot to seduce impressionable minds with scientifically-chosen colors and committee-crafted plot points?

Ellison is learning a lot about families, behavior and body parts with his preoccupation with Frozen. Last Tuesday he asked me 16 times why Elsa stays in the room hiding from Anna. I explained twelve times (and ignored the other four), “Because Elsa has magical powers in her hands, but she doesn’t know how to control them. So she hides from Anna to keep Anna safe.”

“But Elsa loves Anna. They’re sisters.”

“That’s right, buddy. Sometimes you have to protect people you love by hiding from them.”

How on earth is that a concept he can understand? But maybe Frozen is expanding his brain capacity?

Yesterday, Ellison pulled a blue yoga mat around his chest and said, “Look! I’m Elsa. My purple cape flew away. Now I’m in the blue dress.”

He does this with blankets, towels and, once, a paper towel.

It’s hilarious how he taps into the role-play. (I bet this woman would have something to say about it.)

As we walked to school, the other day, he asked this non-sequitur: “Do Elsa and Anna have penises?”

“Um, no buddy.”

“Oh. What do they have in front of their hinies?”

I took a deep breath to quell my guffaw. “They have vaginas, buddy.” (We’ve discussed anatomy, before.)

He responded, “Olaf doesn’t have a penis.”

“Oh,” I said, newly enlightened. I refrained from saying, How do you know he isn’t just suffering from shrinkage? He’s a snowman!

Another non-sequitur: while playing trains, Ellison stood, stomped his feet and informed me, “When Elsa stomps her foot on the stairs, she makes snowflakes. She runs up stairs but she doesn’t fall. I don’t run on stairs. I could fall.”

Bless his preschool and their staircase vigilance.

And the song. Seriously? Is it really that good? Even Idina Menzel, herself, has declared the song “too damn high.” (I can’t find the citation, now, but I swear I read it.)

And the ending? “Cold never bothered me, anyway.” Isn’t that some kind of dangling grammatical deviant? It’s so clipped…like the writers jumped off the horse mid-stream.

But maybe this is the Disney psychological warfare? Adults are musically unsatisfied, the kids don’t seem to care.

And the writers and Disney are laughing at my novice criticism all the way to the bank.

Yesterday I needed to wake Ellison from a nap (he could nap for hours in the afternoon, but then he’d never sleep at night. So I wake him at 45 minutes…resulting in crabbiness.) I brought him from the brink of tears by pulling up “Let it Go” on my phone. Breathlessly, he whispered, “What’s that song, Daddy? It’s…it’s…it’s ‘Wet it D’oh.’”

Ellison couldn’t care less about my envy-tinged artistic grand-standing. And I’m still charmed by him singing.

Let it go, Gavin. Write something better and then we’ll talk.

What are your thoughts on Frozen and “Let It Go”?

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7 Comments

  1. Keely says

    My husband and I swore we would never let our kids enter the whole world of Disney Princesses. We likewise fell victim when our oldest was 3. It’s their friends. Good ‘ol fashioned peer pressure to fit in and like it too. Frozen is just the latest installment. By the time the next one comes out, Elsa will fall victim to the fate of Merida (from “Brave” – that was the last one). Somewhat memorable only if you tire of the new one.

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  2. Chris main says

    I think the song and movie are over-rated. There have been other Disney productions that were pure genius IMHO, but to me there’s not much magic in “Frozen”. Guess I’ll have to re-watch it to see what portions promote a “homosexual” agenda. I totally missed that part….and would love to hear what others think about that.

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  3. We have a consensus-driven rule in our home regarding Frozen. That rule is “once in a while”, with “while” meaning ” a year or so”. It’s worked wonderfully so far because we’ve seen Frozen only once.

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  4. I have a four year old daughter who also wraps herself in blue blankets (and the odd blue yoga mat) and says that she’s Elsa. She also stomps her foot down at odd times to make snow flakes appear. And that bloody song! She sings it non-stop. Although I must admit it is pretty cute at times, especially when she absentmindedly starts belting it out in the supermarket or on the train – four year old made up lyrics and all 🙂
    Now I have until October to convince her that she doesn’t really want a Frozen themed birthday party 😉 Wish me luck!

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    • So many months of crossed fingers! You can do it! Even since posting this piece a couple weeks ago, the obsession has continued. And the full-out singing of the song actually does make me happy. It makes everyone else happy, too. It’s like we’re doing volunteer work making people smile on the street.

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  5. “Do You Want to Build a Snowman?” is such a better song. Makes for better parodies, too. I’ve never really understood the fascination with “Let It Go”.

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